Saturday, March 11, 2017

The Dreaded "C" Diagnosis

It all starts with the mammogram

Breast Cancer.  It starts with a mammogram, a simple routine mammogram.  Not hard to do at all, but then what happens when it comes back with a spot?  That's when the hard part begins.

I took a second mammogram, and an ultrasound.  Found 2 lumps.  Ok, so now what?

The biopsy happened on a Tuesday morning, it wasn't too bad. They numbed me, took a sample with a needle of the two lumps and sent it off for an exam.  I was really bruised after that procedure and sore.

Thursday, I got a notice on our hospital portal that said I had an appointment with the surgeon in 7 days.  Nothing else noted on the account, just an appointment.  That was disturbing.  I had an appointment, but no idea what it was about.  I sent an email through the portal to the doctor.  "This can't be good, if you have scheduled an appointment for me.  I need someone to call me Friday and tell me what is going on."  Right?

So Friday, I got the call at my work, the lump is CANCER, invasive ductal carcenoma.  My heart fell. No way, not me, how could this happen?  The doctor probably won't do a lumpectomy, will consider a mastectomy.  What stage is it?  It's a 3 on the breast cancer scale.

I can't even explain how I felt.  I don't want to die, I want to live to see my son do everything in life. I still have so much I want to do.  That's the crazy part of the feeling of hearing the diagnosis of cancer. I had to leave work, I really couldn't process it all.

I called my husband, called my mom, went home and cried.  I knew I would fight this, but I still couldn't think about it.  Ever since I had Kasey, I have been worried about something happening to me.  I don't know why, maybe it's just part of being a mother.  I don't want him to grow up without me.

I told my stepdaughter, Nicky; she cried.  There is something about knowing that someone you have had a help in raising for the last 15 years, really cares about you.  I am no different than anyone else in wanting someone to love me as much as I love them.  I knew at that moment that she did love me and that she does care about me.   She sent me these beautiful flowers on Friday afternoon.  They really made me feel good.

It took me two days to process what was going on, then I was ready to figure it all out.

My dad must have spent the two days that I was busy trying to digest everything burning up the Internet lines searching about what was going on with me.  How cool is it that your dad does that?

He found the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and gave me their number.  They have a facility in Tulsa, about 3 1/2 hours from us.  I called on Sunday, the lady that answered the phone, spent an hour with me talking about options, preparing me for what might happen.  I felt so good after that phone call.

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